A DC
'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of why the US is in so much
trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol
Shea-Porter) ask for
an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's
(Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town . I
started to explain the
length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me
with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid,
but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ...''Without
trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa ...''
His response
-- click..
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders)
called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation
in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied,
'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!''
(OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra
Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But
they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet
Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled
up the reservation and noticed he had
only a 1-hour layover in Dallas .... When I asked him why he wanted to rent a
car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big
airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky)
called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight
from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got
to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that
Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the
concept of time zones. Finally, I told
her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called
and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they
know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I
said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied,
''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that
said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think
that's very rude!''
After putting him
on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came
back and explained the city code for Fresno
, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a
destination tag on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross)
called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the
cost info, she asked, ''Would it be
cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman
Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which plane to
get on?''
I asked him what
exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823,
but none of these planes have numbers on
them.''
10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I
need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those
little computer planes?''
I asked if she
meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah,
whatever, smarty!''
11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a
question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I
reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.. I've been to China
many times and never had to have one of
those.''
I double checked
and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said,
''Look, I've been to China four times
and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called
to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss
for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights
do you have?'' replied the man.
After some
searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport
code in the country and can't find a rhino
anywhere."
''The man
retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''
So I scoured a map
of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do
you?''
The reply?
''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why
the Government is in the shape it's in!
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