Today a bi-partisan committee of Grandoldcans and Daytoncrats agreed that a wheelage tax would solve the budget problems and bring an end to the budget impasse.
The wheelage tax would require every Gulliblesotan who owns anything with wheels to buy a GPS unit from the state and install it on their wheeled vehicle. Vehicles would charged 25 cents for every mile driven in the state. The Grandoldcrans, objected to the proposal that children of rich Gulliblesotans having to have them installed on their tricycles, however a compromise was reached and it was agreed that only children of rich Gulliblesotans over the age of 16, who still ride bicycles would have to have them installed on non-motorized vehicles. Anyone over the age of 18 however would have to have them installed on there bicycles, whether they are rich or poor. The majority leader of the Grandoldcran said in a statement, that it was a moot point, because rich kids from the suburbs only drive Jaguars and Gulliblesotans who live in the cities are all poor anyway. She went on to say that, anyone over 18 who rides a bicycle is a health nut and probably can afford it regardless of where they live.
The GPS units, which actually have not been developed yet, are expected to cost the state $65.32 a piece and the agreement was to sell them to Gulliblesotans for $425.00 a piece and apply the profit to the legislators pension and health care plan.
The announcement further said that the average cost to Gulliblesotans, not including the cost of the device, would be about $3165.50 per year. The majority leader said she didn't know for sure how much that would bring in per year, but it would be a lot. She said further that if taxpayers really wanted to know the exact amount they could do the math.
The Governor, who was ecstatic over the agreement said that this is far better than taxing the rich, because he can blame it all on the Grandoldcrans and he will still be invited to the fancy parties the rich people in the suburbs have.
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