Actual label instructions:

Actual label instructions:  On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)    On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to what?...use in outer space?) On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)   On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)   On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)   On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)   On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. ( OK lets eat it frozen!!!)   On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.   On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.   On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.(Kids no more driving)   On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)