A Trip to COSTCO, Funny

  Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina
  dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the
  checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
  What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
  little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
  was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
  because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
  pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
  coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
  I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
  it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
  eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
  complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
  mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled
  with my story.)
  Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
  dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
  Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
  I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack. He was
  laughing so hard that he farted.
  Costco won't let me shop there anymore.